I recently got married

And wish someone had prepared me for the life comedown

I’ve been close to losing my voice for about a week now, but that’s not enough to shut me up. They say God loves a trier, so this is me, still trying...

I find it hardest to write when I have the most to say. It reminds me of the calm I feel when there’s “nothing in” versus all the options in the luxury, that is a full fridge.

The past few months have been gigantic, in a personal and worldwide sense. On a personal level, I got married, and getting married is kinda weird, and also, weirdly perfect.

Weddings are one of those uncut gaaahms, that remind you what life is all about. Aside from the ludicrous price tags, they have the power to bring every kind of person together, in the name of love, sweet love.

Muslim and jewish, catholic and atheist, we did not discriminate. We had a world famous pigeon breeder, gays and even homophobes. Like my uncle, who won’t look at women for “religious purposes” but spent the day with his eyes open.

Not everyone is gonna be your kind of person, and that’s totally okay. He did his thing. We did ours, and aren’t we all searching for the same-ish thing anyway?

I spent the day in my favourite place - the green eyes of my Mr. But I gotta be honest, it’s a very weird experience being the main characters.

You parade your love through a sequence of events, we now know as tradition. While your family and friends look at you with massive smiles, clapping. It’s like you’re suddenly famous.

Back when we were planning it all, the thought of this would send us sooo under. Maybe it’s weird that it actually felt nice in the moment. That’s got to be because all the people looking at you are people you’re so happy to see. It’s always the people in this world that bring le magique.

I was in traditional desi dress, carrying about twenty kilos in weight. I felt like I'd completed a test of personal strength. Like I was learning to walk all over again, in front of an audience, hand picked.

Anxiety doesn’t stand a chance when you’re bubble wrapped by the spirit of love, and that purrrrrmeating blend of our cultures. So quelle surprise, our wedding took us higher than any substance ever could. A high so high, I wish I could bottle it. It’s the missing ingredient to a better world.

But as with all that goes up, we came crashing doon. Sheeeesh, reality slapped like a fish and lil fishy hits hard. We were back in Aotearoa, which is its own kind of paradise. But with it came bills and those nine to fives.

And just like that, it was all over, and to say we miss it wouldn’t be saying enough. I wish we could rewind to all those highs.

To know our love brought people together is to know love is the heartbeat of existence. Ex gangsters and hijabis breaking bread - even my in laws, who hadn’t seen each other in twenty five years.

Hate to sound like a social tile, but all you need is love. The most gangster force on this earth. Love is resistance.

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